August 29, 2009 11:25 PM

Kind of a bummer of a day!

Today was my wife's birthday(that's not the reason that it was a bummer) and she was out shopping all day with one of my daughters and then went to a friend's birthday party attended by a lot of people that we haven't seen for quite a while. She had a great time - and I'm glad that she did. But, unfortunately, I could not attend and that's the bummer part!

This is when the recovery period really gets you down - when you feel great but you can't do anything. If I were the usual patient, I'm sure that I would be tired and suffering from Lord knows what in the way of side effects - all of which would make me not desire to do things. But feeling as well as I do, it really hurts to miss events.

I know that you can try to rationalize your way through this but, as with most things, there is the universal tug of war between the brain and the heart. So far the brain is still holding firm but I can feel the heart gaining ground.

My biggest battle is with church and my singing in the choir. I really miss the service, the people, and my weekly opportunity to commune with God. There is no choir in the summer so that is currently a non-issue. But in a few weeks, that won't be true and the longing will begin in earnest once again. However, no matter what my feelings are, the doctor's desires will rule the day. This year it may be even more risky as they are warning us of the supposed widespread nature of the H1N1 flu virus. We'll see! As I said before, the doctor told me that with my being on immuno-suppressants the flu vaccination will have no affect on me. It'll just be a waste of time.

So, days like today can be somewhat depressing for me.

But, this too shall pass...

Bob