December 8, 2009 11:35 PM

Not fitting the mold!

Looking for something to read, I came acroos the huge notebook that Dana farber had given me prior to the bone marrow transplant in order to allow me to familiarize myself with the process and the extraneous side effects that can occur - physically, emotionally, and psychologically. I just don't fit the profile at all!

The average time to find a donor is 4 months. Mine was a lot less and when they state that it can take up to 5 years to find one you really get an appreciation as to how much of a miracle it was!

All the side effects - especially suffering from severe fatigue just never materialized. Graft versus host disease was basically not existent. Forget about the nausea. In fact they stated that it was not uncommon to be resubmitted to the hospital after the transplant. Boy, am I glad that I dodged that bullet!

Then they go through and list all of the resources that are offered as part of the many counseling programs that they offer in order to help you deal with the disease and the aftermath of the treatment. They say that it's quite normal to dwell on the fact that it could come back. I refuse to get caught up in that trap. To compromise your every day by living in constant fear of how many more days you may have is no way to live! I suppose that because of my own experience I can choose to forget all of that. Counseling, for me, just appears to be a waste of time. I admit that I would like to go to some of the sessions that are offered in order to help others. But, from others that have done so, I have heard that it is just a pity party and you leave more depressed than ever. I certainly don't need that!

About the only true revelation for me was that the vaccination shots that I will start getting in February will take a year to complete. No real surprise as I knew that I would be monitored on a less frequent basis during the 12-24 month timeframe after the transplant.

I simply take every day as a blessing and today was a great day. I worked downstairs for a while and we went to a movie this afternoon when no one was at the theater.

Everywhere I turn, I realize that I have been exceedingly blessed.

Thank you God...

Bob