November 20, 8:55 PM

Well, it was another day in limbo. The results were not yet back from the bone marrow biopsy. And, of course, everything from here on out hinges upon that test. Foodwise, Nancy brought me a Wendy’s double cheeseburger along with the fries which made for a delicious lunch.

But it was a bittersweet day as well. Those of you who are dog owners will fully understand. For the past 8 and ½ years we have owned a weimaraner. He’s a lovable dog but very full of energy – which is the nature of the breed. However, we have now lived in a condo for the past 2 years and a large dog and condos do not mix very well. He has to remain inside except for “those moments”. Condo rules forbid tying him up outside. With my wife coming to the hospital all day, every day it makes it almost impossible for him to go outside when he needs to. Additionally, having to shoulder the clean up burden and shoveling out a “spot” whenever it snows further add to the upkeep list. Regrettably, there was no way that he could stay. As an aside, it is also not recommended that pets be around when I get home from the hospital.

Coupled with all this is the fact that he has had Addison’s disease for over 4 years which requires a percortan shot once a month to the tune of $120-$140. Without the shot, within a month he will die. With the shot – he is as healthy as he can be. This, obviously, further added on to the complications in trying to find him a new home. However, we were willing to pick up the shot costs. Long story short, Nancy has been working feverishly with friends to find him another home. Today, through a reference from a friend, she introduced him to a couple in Canterbury, NH who have agreed to take him. On Saturday, she will drop him off along with all his belongings and he can begin the next chapter in his life in a beautiful country setting where he can once again enjoy the lifestyle that a dog should enjoy.

This has, obviously, been a painful side effect to my disease. But, I have to rationalize it to myself that our loss has been more than made up for by the value of his gain. As I write this, I have tears in my eyes because a faithful friend will no longer be there for me when I get home.

As I said before, this blog is a catharsis for me and I need it to be able to express the thoughts and feelings that lie bottled up inside me. Thank you all for putting up with some of the stuff that I have chosen to write about.

Change of subject. Along with the hospital Johnny that you get, they also provide you with something that I will loosely call a pair of pants. These “pants” were obviously designed by someone who had no intention of ever wearing them. These, of course, are a “one size fits all” affair which, fortunately for me, are just about my size. Now, the most ideal solution for this application is the elastic banded sweat pant type of design. But, no! no! no! We have to go with the thin cord around the waist that you must tie and we must vary the cord length for each pair such that you never know if any particular pair will fit! Likewise, should you tie the tie in a comfortable position, the pants are designed to immediately fall down when you get up to walk. If you want them to stay up you must cinch them around your waist like you were fastening a load of lumber onto you car’s roof rack. It can get so bad at times that the nurses sometimes check you for bruises. But, never fear, the designers had the forethought to make the cord material such that the knot would eventually slip out over time and the pants ultimately fall down once gain.

So you are left with 3 modes, cinch mode which temporarily works as long as you are in abject pain, comfort mode which means that you must constantly walk around clutching the waistband of the pants with one hand otherwise they are on the floor, and no pants mode whereby you go sans pants at the expense of immediately losing all your family and friends as visitors!

That is my rant for the day!

I still feel fine. I feel the same today as I have every other day that I have been here. This tends to make this whole experience seem surrealistic to me at times and I sometimes wonder if I am just going to wake up at some moment and find out that it was all a bad dream……

Bob